///NEWS FROM THE OLD FOREST:
updated: 12.12.12
Anyone going to see "The Hobbit" movie? Don't look like a chump when you're standing on line. Let the Lords dress you in style! The official costumes of the Lords of the Rhymes are on sale now for a limited time!!updated: 11.11.11
WTF?! We're still waiting for Peter Jackson to call us for a cameo in "The Hobbit." Lucky for us, we're timeless. so we can wait. But WTF?!updated: 11.19.09
We haven't updated this site in an earth's age, but we vow to keep on rockin every pub from the Prancing Pony to the Green Dragon in 2010. Bookmark us; there will be new content in the not too distant future.updated: 5.01.08
Make Way for the May Queen! Ian McKellan will play gandalf again. great. but what about the hobbits? i know a couple good candidates. hint, hint. you'll thank me.updated: 4.30.08
Albert Hoffman, Thanx for all you did to make life easy on a hobbit. we'll see you in the Halls of Mandos... with a freshly packed pipe.updated: 2.14.07
Give your Valentine what she really wants -> An hour with the Lords! Lords of the Rhymes DVD now ON SALE for only $10!!!updated: 12.11.06
Q-beam and The Grey Pilgrim give some love to nerd-core, and get some love from BoingBoing.net.updated: 12.10.06
Q-beam and The Grey Pilgrim featured in the new "Nerdcore For Life!" film trailer. This is an independent documentary about nerdcore hip-hop that you do NOT want to sleep on.updated: 9.01.06
New Video Added! "Sniffing Out Tayshaun Greensleeve: Part 1."updated: 7.19.06
Keep a look out for the Sucklord and Sir Niles at Comic-Con in San Diego this weekend, but be warned: they are probably drunk and looking for action.updated: 7.17.06
"Deep Inside the Mouth of Sauron: Part 1" added to VIDEOS/PODCASTS. This series will get dirtier and dirtier with every installment. We promise.updated: 6.26.06
The Lords of the Rhymes are now podcasting in the VIDEOS/PODCASTS section. The latest podcast is the first in our new series "the Grey Pilgrim: Uncloaked"updated: 6.14.06
The Lords grapple with Bakshi vs. Jackson and make some really stupid analogies to fruit in the VIDEOS/PODCASTS section.updated: 6.6.6
We unlocked the treasure chest that is our video library and decided to post all the footage shot during the making of "The Untolde Tale." Each week we'll upload a new flick in VIDEOS/PODCASTS for you to feast on. Most of what you'll see is not included in our DVD, so knock yourself out. And in honor of 666, we give an extra special shout out to the Sucklord!! pay him a visit at www.suckadelic.com.updated: 6.02.06
Hobbit Rap Video Now Even Smaller!! Over the last year, we've received over one lakh emails requesting that we post a version of our music video that is compatible with the iPod. So here it is, digital hobbits. (May not work with Safari. F-'in Apple...)updated: 1.07.06
We've been getting a grip of emails lately from hobbits who are angry that SNL bit the Lords so hard on their Narnia rap video. It's hard to believe they would step to us like that, but so it goes in the 4th Age. Judging by their rhymes, I would guess neither of those suckas has ever read any C.S. Lewis. On the off chance they want to prove me wrong, I send an open invitation to battle. Name the time and place, and the Lords will put on a clinic.updated: 1.03.06
Happy 114th Birthday J.R.R. Tolkienupdated:11.07.05
We played a secret unannounced show on Halloween. Photos coming soon. If you want to be informed of future secret shows, join our mailing list in the "Contact Us" section of this site.updated:9.21.05
Alas, fall is upon us and we are dusting off our cider press in preparation of a party. What better reason to celebrate than the release of the Sucklord's fresh and foul "supervillains" video. If you think our video sucks, wait til you see this disasterpiece! WATCH IT OR YOU SUCK!!updated:6.27.05
For those of you who have been wondering where our lawyer Diego Escobar is, we have just learned that he is traveling with NASCAR. The details are sketchy, but he appears to be under duress.
updated:6.01.05
We only have 5 t-shirts left !! We won't be reprinting them, so don't sleep on it and wind up hating yourself later on in the quest.
updated:4.20.05
Happy Hornblower's Day. See you at Longbottom Fields.
updated:4.12.05
The Sucklord has just released his new CD "Supervillains." Cop it here: EVIL STORE. If you are not up on the Sucklord, watch the opening scene of our music video.
updated:3.30.05
Yesterday a video tape arrived in the mail which confirms that our lawyer Diego is being held captive. He is not looking pretty, but at least we know he's not yet in the Halls of Mandos.
updated:3.18.05
We just got our second pressing of DVDs back from the manufacturer. If you ordered one and haven't received it yet, fear not. Your patience will soon be rewarded.
updated:3.15.05
"Beware the Ides of West March," says the note Sir Niles received on his Blackberry. And then there was a strange script at the end that we think might be Vulcan.
updated:3.10.05
We're currently investigating the clues to Diego's disappearance which have been posted on the message board. It's very difficult to judge their authenticity. Our manager Sir Niles has finally called us back, and is now updated on the situation. He's got a friend who is a private investigator. More to follow.
updated:3.02.05
Yesterday, we received an email from someone claiming to be Diego. The email was written in Spanish and Elvish and we know for a fact that Diego has no knowledge of Elvish. If anyone has any information about this, or about Diego's whereabouts, please contact us.
updated:2.28.05
Whoever emailed us saying they saw Diego in Miami, please give us your contact informtion.
updated:2.25.05
We regret to announce the disappearance of our attorney Diego Escobar. Diego was last seen perched in a tree adjacent to Leonard Nimoy's sprawling Vulcan Wonderland Estate outside Boston. We'll keep you posted on this perplexing development.
updated:1.17.05
In honor of the King (MLK), we have reduced the price of our t-shirts and now offer free shipping on combined orders !! Browse out Ye Olde Shoppe for details.
updated:1.11.05
Check out the fresh fan artwork for Black Riders just added to the "Keepin' it Green" section!
updated:12.14.04
ROTK: EE is out, and so is the latest shipment of Lords of the Rhymes DVDs. If you ordered a DVD recently, you should have it by Yulemath.
updated:11.09.04
OUR MESSAGE BOARD IS BACK !! Thanks to wunderkind jbritz22, we have a new and improved forum for all hobbits to gather and pass the pipe. Join the entmoot and share some lore.
updated:11.08.04
if you dressed in Middle-earth (or other fantasy) garb on halloween, please email us a photo for our "Keepin' It Green" section.
updated:11.03.04
what fell curse has befallen the lands?!
updated:10.27.04
18,000 year old Hobbit remains discovered in Indonesia. Read about it here.
updated:10.25.04
We shipped out DVDs this week. If you ordered it before the hobbits wearing red socks dismantled the evil empire, you should receive it before All Hallow's Eve.
updated:10.05.04
Our BBS was killed by orcs. Does anyone have a good fix?
updated:9.12.04
By the light of Iluvatar, our DVD is finished!! Visit the Video section of this site to order a copy. You'll shit your nickers laughing. Hobbit's honor.updated:9.11.04
Peace to all in Middle-earth. We tip a 40 to those who have gone to the Halls of Mandos unjustly and prematurely.updated:8.06.04
Just a little holla to remind y'all that if you live in the New York area, and you're down with hobbits, we're going to be throwing a party you won't want to miss. C-fin has been laboring like a cave troll to get our movie finished for the grand unveiling, and B-dil is turning another year older.updated:7.23.04
Providence and New York,brace yaselves! We're bringing the hobbit party to your frontyard. Details listed in the Live Shows section.updated:7.05.04
Inimitable Lords underling The Sucklord has a fresh look. check out his updated website at www.suckadelic.com.updated:5.27.04
MP3s are back up. Go get 'em.updated:5.26.04
Some of the links to our tracks are down. We don't host our own media cuz we can't handle the bandwidth, so we're trying to solve the prob. should be back up in a sec.updated:5.25.04
If you're looking for a gift to send us, Tolkien's old house at 20 Northmoor in Oxford is on sale now for only $2.5 million. I assume that price does not include shipping. We already bought the ROTK DVD at 12:01am.updated:4.18.04
If anyone has been in touch with our manager Sir Niles, please email us. The bloke has been missing since St. Patty's Day. More information about his history of strange disappearances can be found in the "contact us" section of this site.updated:4.01.04
Now that the LOTR movies have come and gone, we're going to shift the focus of our band to Star Wars because we're really excited about the impending 3rd installment of Lucas' brilliant prequels. B-dil will now be known as J-Jar, Q-beam will become Darth Playa, the Gray Pilgrim will be OB-1, Gollum will be Gungan and the Dark Lord will remain the Dark Lord .
NOT! april fools.
updated:3.18.04
Video clip of Frodo talking about Lords of the Rhymes just added to home page. Good lookin out, Elijah.
updated:3.11.04
F*@% leprechauns. Spend St. Patty's day with HOBBITS ! We're going to be on Tech TV on Wed, March 17th at 8:30pm PST/11:30pm EST. Lords interview and live performance from SF.
updated:3.05.04
We're back in the shire now, after an epic West Coast tour. Thanks to all the hobbits that came out of their holes and partied like wildmen with us. We're so honored to have been there when ROTK proved its quality.
updated:2.28.04
We're in LA now getting pedicures before the Return of the One Party. Join us tonight at the Echo for an evening of debauchery and west coast chronic !! The Lords of the West have returned!!
updated:2.11.04
Our LA and SF shows on 2/28 and 3/1 are selling faster than we expected. We won't be performing on the west coast again, so get your tickets before the shows sell out!
updated:1.22.04
West Coast tour dates added to "live shows" section. Cross your fingers as we crash the Oscars!!
updated:1.14.04
We will be doing shows on the West Coast in February. Check back for details.
updated:12.31.03
Happy New Year Middle-earth !! Peace in the 2004th Age!!
updated:12.23.03
Check us out this week on Tech TV during their "Return of the King" Special.
updated:12.21.03
Shout out to every hobbit who came down to our show on the 17th! There were some serious costumes up in that piece. We're now retreating into the forest to bang out this DVD we've been talkin about . Also, we'll be posting some new songs this week. Happy and Safe Yule Math to all! We'll be back at ya in the 2004th age.
updated:12.17.03
Tonight we will crown King Ellesar at Tonic and rock the house with new rhymes and beats heavier than the battle drums of Pellenor. If you are in NYC come celebrate the Return of the King with us at 11pm. Tonic is at 107 Norfolk street @ Delancey.
updated:11.24.03
We will perform live in NYC on Dec. 17th!! (after the 7pm screening of ROTK). Fly in for this shit!
updated:11.04.03
We are now officially taking T-shirt orders!! Visit our shoppe and treat yourself right.
updated:11.03.03
Reminder: email us your LOTR halloween costume pix. we'll post the good ones!
updated:10.14.03
Lords of the Rhymes movie trailer now available. Warning: No Spoilers. Just Hobbit Action.
updated:10.04.03
Visit Ye Olde Shoppe and pre-order a Lords of the Rhymes t-shirt forthwith!
updated:10.03.03
Is anyone gonna dress in an LOTR themed costume for halloween? If you email us a photo, we'll create a gallery of Lords fans for everyone to behold. Best costume gets a free t-shirt.
updated: 09.25.03
Place an order for your Lords of the Rhymes T-shirt in time for your big date with ROTK.
updated: 08.18.03
Our Video Director C-fin the Crafty just showed me a ruff cut of the trailer for our next video, and let me just say this flick puts our first video to shame. We can't wait to post it for you all !!!
updated: 08.13.03
Remix Contest Winners Now Available!
updated: 08.12.03
Apologies to all who have been assaulted by adult-themed spams on our BBS. A word to the wretched orc who is perpetrating this fell act: your days are numbered you fuckin wetwang. we'll find you and show no mercy.
updated: 06.23.03
The Remix competition is over. We're chillin with them now. Come back for the track.
updated: 06.10.03
There's a candid tell-all interview with us in www.thetoiletonline.com. Major secrets revealed.
updated: 06.06.03
The video premiere party went off like Bilbo's eleventy-first! Much love to all the hobbits and elf-girls who came down and got it on with us. We got some dope footage for our forthcoming DVD. Eat your heart out Christopher Guest.
updated: 05.26.03
Lords of the Rhymes live in New York City, and you're all invited! On June 3rd, we'll be performing new material and shooting our next video. If you love hobbit rap or dressing in fantasy costumes is your thang, you won't want to miss this party. This is your chance to be in our video! and best of all, admission is free. Check the Live Shows section for details.
updated: 05.06.03
Awwww yeah!!! You know what time it is!!! "Nine-Fingered Frodo (and the Ring of Doom)" is gonna rock the hobbit block this summer. Snatch it, gather your homies and turn that shit to 11 !!
Also jumpin off today is the new Live Shows section. Show dates and live vid clips to demonstrate how we do it in the M-E.
updated: 05.01.03
'Twas on this day in the year 3019 of the Third Age that Aragorn son of Arathorn was crowned King of Gondor and Arnor. Long Live King Elessar -- the Elfstone of the House of Elendil!
updated: 04.30.03
Fell news! Our video has once again been smote by a Morgul blade. Whilst we treat it with Athelas, we're pointing to sites that mirror it.
updated: 04.22.03
Our video was temporarily down, but it has been restored to its original grandeur. Mad props to Sgt. Pepper.
updated: 04.16.03
Hear Ye! Hear Ye! the release date of our second single is May 6th. It's a truly epic summer jam, that's bound to make you look silly singing and dancing in your chair at work. We don't want to spoil the party by giving out the name of the joint just yet, but it's gonna make your summer party OFFICIAL!!
updated: 04.15.03
You asked for it, You got it!! The remix competition is now in effect. It works like this: Download the "A Capella" version of "Lords of the Rhymes." Remix it. By mid-summer's eve, email an MP3 to us. On the Summer Solstice, we'll post the best 3 remixes for all to enjoy. Straight!!
updated: 03.10.03
On March 8th, We set it off at the Knitting Factory in NYC!! The show was sponsored by Trojan, so we threw hundreds of condoms and lollipops into the crowd of revelling hobbits. Mayhem ensued; video clips on the way!!.
updated: 03.03.03
New MP3 added: Sauron's Flying V Mix (The Lords of the Rhymes). Play It Loud; Play it Proud!
updated: 2.18.03
"What the F@#k?! There's a "Lords of the Rhymes" video?!" you say.
That's right, sucka!
Download it for late-night viewing or watch the streaming version right now.
updated: 1.28.03
We just finished shooting our first music video (as promised).
Despite the fact that it was colder than a mid-winter's night on Weathertop the day we shot it, the video is truly EPIC !!!
We did things with cardboard that even WETA can't front on! Look for it here sometime around the first week of February.