It was at this time that Sir Niles met the love of his life Silvia Renate Sommerlath, daughter of German-born Walther Sommerlath and his Brazilian wife Alice Soares de Toledo. Although Sir Niles pursued the nymphette to the far corners of the world, his love was ultimately unrequited. Sir Niles’ penchant for wild sex orgies and hallucinatory vision-quests was too much for the young Silvia to handle. Sir Niles spent four years a-courting, and even devoted himself to a strict regimen of physical fitness in hopes of winning Silvia’s favor. (Sir Niles was later credited with pioneering the health food and fitness craze of the 70s).
 
 
In a final, desparate attempt to prove his devotion to the young German-Brazilian debutant, Sir Niles traveled to India and perfected the art of tantric kundalini yoga. He then successfully lobbied to have it included on a trial basis in the 1972 Olympic Summer Games held in Munich. Although the field of competition was unimpressively scant, Sir Niles did in fact take the Gold medal in the one and only Olympic kundalini yoga competition. With his "Congress of the Cow" pose he scored high marks from all judges except the Indian judge, who simply stated,”that is not yoga; I don't know what that is. It is perverted and it offends me.” Sir Niles success at the Olympics was quickly overshadowed by an abhorrent act of terrorism.
 
 
 
 
 
Despite Sir Niles’ best efforts, Silvia was also being wooed at this time by King Carl XVI Gustav of Sweden. Although it is rumored that, in secret, Silvia’s heart burned for Sir Niles, she wed the King in 1976 in hopes of having a greater opportunity to help the poor. Bereft and devastated, Sir Niles vowed never to love again. In recent years, there has been speculation that Sir Niles and Silvia may have rendez-voused since, however neither has ever revealed whether or not the sex act was ever performed between them in the dark hours of the night. It is widely-known, however, that at this time Sir Niles took on the moniker “Von” in tribute to the German ancestry of his true love.
 
 
 
   

Following the rejection of Silvia’s love, Sir Niles turned back to what he knew best: rock n’ roll. Putting his nose to the grind-stone, Sir Niles soon became the most powerful deal-maker in the music industry, and was well on his way to building an acid rock empire of gargantuan proportion. With success came temptation, and, burned by love, Sir Niles was on a mission of self-destruction. It was during this period, known as the “Deep Purple Years,” that Sir Niles met his kindred spirit and future business partner Diego Escobar.

One of Sir Niles’ favorite passtimes has always been historical reinactment. Perhaps because Roger Roger used to dress Sir Niles in pauper’s garb when they were grifting their way across Europe, or perhaps because Sir Niles spent countless hours leering at costumed girls at his friend Hugh Hefner’s Bunny Club, Sir Niles had a great fondness of dressing in elaborate costumes himself. In fact, he was somewhat of a master of disguise. One winter, while touring with the Stones in South America, Sir Niles vanished from his hotel in Bogata without a trace. Many believed he was kidnapped, some speculated he had gone to Brazil out of longingness for Silvia, but in fact Sir Niles had joined a Colonial Reinactment Society that was secretly encamped in the jungle on the outskirts of town.
 
 
<<PREVIOUS • NEXT>>